The Girlfriend Fairy (animation)/Transcript


 * Rebecca Parham: My love life. Yeah, let's talk about my love life here for a moment... and that's about the amount of time that it takes to talk about it: a moment, because my love life is non-existent. I could go off about why that is but in the interest of not completely scaring off any future love interest, we won't be riding trip through Rebecca's emotional baggage. Today, instead, I'm going to talk about this weird phenomenon that has happened to me I want to say at least five times, recently. And by the time something happens for the fifth time. it becomes a pattern. Yeah, that's about right. Oh, and before I go any further, I realized that this old video has caused a little bit of confusion "Trust me, honey. I don't see any men. Period. Let alone someone else's husband.". Here is my grand-non reveal of the sex that I'm attracted to. Sorry, ladies, but I'm straight. Though I think you're all beautiful. Well I haven't been on many dates or anything. I still periodically get guys who flirt with me. Sometimes, they're guys I've known in person and sometimes they're guys I've only ever known online. It's been a lot of the latter, lately, but here is the gist of what happens. A guy I know well enough will flirt with me for a little while usually in my DMs on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter. Nothing spicy, just some cute banter and compliments and the general just paying attention to me kind of thing enough that you know it's flirting. But after a while of this, they'll just suddenly disappear or stop responding to the conversation. And then not three weeks later, they will have suddenly acquired a girlfriend. What?! I am not joking. I'm not naming any names of course, but this actually happens, and it sucks because a couple of them were guys I was kind of interested in, except one boy. Oooohoohh. I was in the middle of getting a pedicure one day and he tweeted me that he had just found a girlfriend. I was like "WOOOOO!!!", that was the only time this curse worked in my favor. But seriously, though, you can imagine that this soul began to hurt my feelings after a while. One guy after another, showing interest, disappearing and then immediately getting a girlfriend. It made me start asking things like "What's wrong with me? Is it something I'm doing?" and one day, I just finally made up my mind that "Wow. I'm the practice girl. I've become the crash-test-dummy you practice your moves on, build up your confidence and then go after the big fish." The day I figured this out it was both amusing and disheartening and I thought "Well. I'll make a joke out of it." So, the summer of 2016, I tweeted "I've noticed a pattern. Guys will flirt with me for a brief period of time in my DMs and then immediately find a girlfriend. I'm the practice girl.". Oh woe is me I'm soon pitiful. Honestly I posted that tweet because I thought well this is weird enough to be entertaining in a schadenfreude a' type way. Ya know, getting pleasure from the fact that you can say "Well. At least I'm not her!" But yeah. A little part of me did post that tweet just to well, complain, just a smidge. I posted the tweet and immediately so many of you said such nice things to lift my spirits and I really appreciate it. But then, one of you. One of you turned the entire mood of that tweet on me. @J_BiggityBar said this: "Sooo what ur saying is if I just continue keep saying nice things to do, I might find a GF :O". And then suddenly, all was made clear. I'm not the practice girl. I'm... The Girlfriend Fairy! One for you, and one for you, and one for you. You get a girlfriend and you get a girlfriend. [Growling sound intensifies]. I've lost my mind, in case you haven't noticed. No, but in all seriousness, that one humorous statement really made me feel better and even inspired me artistically. As you can see, I don't know why that weird pattern with me and guys keeps happening, but this whole thing has really been a reminder of it. If you look at your problems from a funny angle, they don't look so much like problems anymore. And when you come to that place where you can just laugh at the things that get you down, they become easier to handle. It takes away a little bit of the power your problems have over you. Alright, explainers and entertainers, that's all I got. But hey, if you continue to like, comment and subscribe, mayhaps you'll get a girlfriend too. Or a boyfriend. I don't know if my fairy magic covers those. And don't forget to click that little bell icon below to get a "PING!" every time I upload. I'm also really talkative on Twitter so follow me there too if you want. Thank you so much for tuning in, but now I gotta tune out. Bye! [Music]