Tis the Season/Transcript


 * Shop employee: Well, hi there, sugar cube! Looks like someone's Christmas shoppin'! Anything I can help you find?
 * Rebecca Parham: No.
 * Shop employee: Aw, someone's got a case of the Christmas blues. Why don't you tell me all about it, darlin'?
 * Rebecca Parham: Well, I'm just here for the yearly Christmas embarrassment. You see, I'm a terrible shopper and my family is very hard to shop for. So, yeah. My presents usually fall flat every single year.
 * Shop employee: Oh. Don't you have anybody to come and help you shop?
 * Rebecca Parham: Well...
 * Nacie: [in another setting] Forget it. I am NOT going on another adventure with you. It's not my fault you can't be funny on your own.
 * Rebecca Parham: [back to the original setting] No.
 * Shop employee: Come on, sweetie belle. I'll help you shop for your family!
 * Rebecca Parham: Sweetie belle?
 * Shop employee: [singing]
 * ''Welcome to our store
 * We're glad you're here to spend
 * Some money on your family
 * And on your friends
 * Christmas season comes
 * Demanding you must buy
 * Expensive gifts to show
 * Love is not a lie
 * For your mother if I should pinky
 * Some front row spurs game ticking
 * Or the island of Castaway Cay''
 * Rebecca Parham: What..?
 * Shop employee:
 * What star Laurie dagger their Christmas Day
 * Oh your mama khan yuvan or be
 * Something stylish baking party
 * Or a cameo snowglobe
 * Rebecca Parham: Are you kidding?
 * Shop employee:
 * After that we still got cheap cologne
 * [sprays cheap cologne]
 * For your sister I could see
 * Falala lalala lalala
 * Maybe she liked a new puppy
 * Falala lalala lalala
 * Rebecca Parham: No!
 * Shop employee:
 * DVDs grow her collection
 * Falala lalala lalala
 * Rebecca Parham: [singing] Aren't we all in a recession?
 * Shop employee:
 * Falala lalala lalala [stops singing] and for your brother.
 * Rebecca Parham: Oh no...
 * Shop employee: [continues singing]
 * What's great for him?
 * How about Skyrim?
 * New Gears of War
 * And Skyward Sword
 * Here's Portal 2
 * That's really new
 * Assassin's Creed's
 * I see victory
 * And one more Mario Kart
 * Call of Duty
 * Arkham City
 * Star Wars: The Old Republic
 * Star Wars: The Old Republic
 * Play all of these games
 * All that it is
 * Bankrupcy near!
 * Collapsing here!
 * Rebecca Parham: SHUT UP!!! I can't even afford any of this and even if I could, that is not what Christmas is about. I don't need expensive gifts or flashy decorations. I just need, my family... Whose love means more to me than anything I could ever buy.
 * Shop employee: Well done, darling. Glad you know the true reason for the season. Now go home and be with your loved ones.
 * Rebecca Parham: Thank you. Merry Christmas!
 * [Plot twist: the shop employee was Nacie the whole time]
 * Nacie: I knew she couldn't be funny without me.
 * [Outro]
 * Rebecca Parham:
 * What's great for him?
 * How about Skyrim?
 * New Gears of War
 * And Skyward Sword
 * Here's Portal 2
 * That's really new
 * Assassin's Creed's
 * I see victory
 * And one more Mario Kart
 * Call of Duty
 * Arkham City
 * Star Wars: The Old Republic
 * Star Wars: The Old Republic