Quest for Storage/Transcript


 * Nacie: I can't believe you dragged me out of the house for this.
 * [Nacie and Rebecca are walking down the sidewalk.]
 * Nacie: Is there really a reason I had to come along, Rebecca?
 * Rebecca Parham: Uh yeah, Nacie. I've never done this whole "storage" thing before. And it just, makes me feel better to have someone with me.
 * Nacie: Translation: You're a wuss.
 * Rebecca Parham: Be nice, Nacie. Besides, this place is supposed to be good. I didn't see a single bad review on Google.
 * [Nacie was shocked for what Rebecca said.]
 * Nacie: There weren't any reviews at all.
 * Rebecca Parham: Petty details. Listen, if this place is no good, we'll just go down the street to the next store.
 * [They went inside the store, and saw smoke, which is blown behind the desk. Rebecca approaches.]
 * Rebecca Parham: Uh... hello?
 * Agetha: Alright, alright.
 * [She gets up and goes to the desk]
 * Agetha: Welcome to Boondocks Self Storage. My name is Agetha. What do you want?!
 * Rebecca Parham: I need a "space".
 * Nacie: Unit.
 * Rebecca Parham: Unit! Unit! I need to rent a unit!
 * Agetha: I can give you a 12.5x17 non climate-control. Shouldn't leak too much this time of year. Bring insurance, it IS required. Your first month's rent will be $294, though I can't guarantee that will stay the same. I lock that front gate at exactly six o'clock. So you better not be behind it, cause you ain't getting out till morning. Sign here.
 * [Rebecca and Nacie are shocked]
 * Rebecca Parham: Don't worry, Nacie. There are plenty of other storage to try.
 * Nacie: Oh, being still might beat my heart.
 * [Rebecca and Nacie go to another self-storage, in which the first month is free, but with purchases being 500$ or more.]
 * [They went into another self-storage, and it had old furniture and a guy sleeping inside.] * [Nacie found a rat inside trash bags and screamed, and Rebecca found a giant cockroach and screamed. They found a dirty person with a contract, Nacie put a "condemned" sign on him and both ran away. Rebecca was running away from a dog. Dog barking.]
 * Guy: Hey, he won't hurt you, he'd playin'.
 * [Rebecca and Nacie went into a different self-storage, which apparently had guaranteed security. However, there was a couple of gunshots on the window and even on the sign.]
 * Rebecca Parham: One place. Not one stinkin' place. I am a pretty simple girl. I don't need much, I just need a place that's clean, affordable, secure, to put all my junk, but what do I do to get his deals and giant cockroaches. Oh, and let's not forget the guard dog because I need a giant monster attacking me every single time. I need to get into my unit. Oh my gosh, is there not a single place?!
 * Nacie: Becca! Becca!
 * Rebecca Parham: It's never-ending hazard of bad self storage!
 * Nacie: [with megaphone] BECCA!!!!
 * Rebecca Parham: Yes, Macey?
 * [Nacie shows her Noah Ark's Self Storage, and they enter.]
 * Noah Ark: Welcome to Noah's Ark self-storage. How may I help you?
 * Rebecca Parham: [hugging Noah Ark] You smell just like I dreamed you would!
 * Noah Ark: Is she gonna be alright?
 * Nacie: I think she's gonna be just fine.
 * [Outro with singing]