Crazy Wrong Number Caller/Transcript

[Rebecca blocks the wrong number caller woman]
 * Rebecca Parham: So everyone has that one particularly hilarious wrong number story and it's usually in the form of a text message. Apparently, some people consider it a good idea to text embarrassing information to a new number they just got from someone I mean wouldn't want to confirm you're actually talking to your friend Shannon when in fact you're telling a complete stranger all about your hemorrhoid problems. But my hilarious wrong number story came from a full-blown conversation with someone on the other line who was, irrational, to say the very best of it. One evening, I was lying on my bed probably drawing when I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was my area code, so I figured: "Yeah, why not? This might be someone I know.". I answered and said: "Hello?". A younger sounding woman answered back:
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "Hello? Who is this?"
 * Rebecca Parham: "Oh, Rebecca."
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "So do you know my husband Chris Miller?"
 * Rebecca Parham: I didn't recognize the name of the guy so I said: "I'm sorry. Who?"
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "Oh, you know full well who!
 * Rebecca Parham: What?
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "My husband has been texting and calling this number for months I checked his phone I want to know who you are and why you've been talking to my husband!"
 * Rebecca Parham: Ah, here we go, found the root of the problem, and I said what every single one of us says in this circumstance: "I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.".
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "Oh no, I do not have the wrong number. I'm not buying that you're going to tell me right now who you are and how you know my husband."
 * Rebecca Parham: I guess any other normal person would have hung up on her but I'm not normal. If anything, I was curious to see where this conversation was gonna go. "Ma'am, I don't know anyone by your husband's name. You clearly have the wrong number."
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "You're just saying that because you don't want to admit you're seeing my husband. "
 * Rebecca Parham: "Trust me, honey, I don't see any men. Period. Let alone someone else's husband."
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "I don't believe you."
 * Rebecca Parham: "You don't, huh? You could tell I'm a floozy over the phone, could you? Yes I'm hanging up now."
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "No, you're not."
 * Rebecca Parham: "Maybe you should check the number you dialed again. It could be an honest mistake. "
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "You know the only one who needs to be honest is you. Hello?"
 * Rebecca Parham: "Still here."
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "Make this easy and just tell me how long you've been his mistress."
 * Rebecca Parham: "My, how things have escalated between me and your husband Chris you said his name was?"
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "You know exactly what his name is you hooking up with him."
 * Rebecca Parham: "No, I see."
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "Who did you say you were again?"
 * Rebecca Parham: "Thelma Dinkley."
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "Ok, Thelma, you can go-"
 * Rebecca Parham: "Listen, this has been cute and everything, but honest to God, you have the wrong number. I don't know your husband, I've never called him before. I'm trying to politely tell you that you've made a mistake. A very common one, in fact. Happens to the best of us, so why don't you hang up, check the number and-"
 * Wrong Number Caller Woman: "The only number I need a check is how many times I'm gonna kick your-"
 * Rebecca Parham: "Good luck, Chris. You're screwed no matter what you say."